Most of us have experienced the feeling of disappointment with another human being.
If you have not yet, just wait until we elect our new president.
Have you known the hurt I am speaking of?
Perhaps a parent, uncle, friend, pastor, child, teacher, or a mentor left you feeling the wound of disappointment.
That individual may have never even laid a hand on you. They may not even know you.
Where am I going with this?
My heart is heavy.
It is loaded down with confusion, disbelief, anger, and sadness. I am still processing and it is messy.Someone I have great respect for has left me feeling disappointed. I trusted this person enough to give them my time, money, and mind. I learned so much from this individual. I love God and people more because of her generosity and leadership; for these things I am grateful. She was a mentor of sorts.
This is not the first time that a leader in my life has let me down and I am certain that it will not be the last. I guess I shouldn’t really be surprised that a pedestal cannot hold the weight of a mere human, when it was intended for God alone.
The truth is that disappointments are just unmet expectations. Yes, leaders are called to a higher standard, especially those who are called by God to teach (this is why James says that not many should become teachers because they will be judged more strictly). This is the same reason I feel sick to my stomach every time I am asked to speak at a conference. There is a heavy responsibility with being a teacher of the Word of God, but they can never be expected to get it right all the time. I had misplaced expectations.
In many ways, I wanted to be like her. If we are going to mimic, follow, and place our confidence in anyone, it should be none other than Christ Jesus, the one who always gets it right.
I love my sister in Christ and I will pray for her. It would be easy to get out my stones and start launching them her way but I am looking to what Jesus said in John 8:7, “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.”
What have I learned about my disappointment? Simple. I have learned that, “I am not without sin.”
I have seen such ugliness in my heart that often times delights in the fall of other people because it makes me feel better about myself.
I also have learned that my confidence cannot be in bloggers and teachers. If I want to be a confident woman, I must place my confidence in God alone and His finished work through Christ Jesus. His words must take precedent over everyone else’s words. In order to have confidence in God, I must know Him. I must know Him through His Word.
The hurt and confusion from the past two weeks have crystalized a few things for me and I would like to share these thoughts with you:
1.) Ladies, it is time we take the word of God seriously. God doesn’t want us to do guesswork or go on our feelings when it comes to knowing what He is like and the things about which He cares most deeply. God has made Himself known through His Word. We cannot know who we are, until we know whose we are. Also, why do we get angry at leaders who don’t handle the word of God correctly, when we do not take it seriously enough to study it daily? The gospel (meaning the life, death and resurrections of Jesus Christ on our behalf) must take center stage in our hearts.
2.) It is time that we become theologians. Yes, you read that correctly. It is not enough to read obscure bible passages and inspiration quotes on Instagram. We must study the Word of God. The Word of God must be our Jam. Women must become preachers (Don’t worry, I am not going there!). Sometimes, I wonder, if as women, we have been so immersed in becoming the “Proverbs 31 woman,” that we have neglected to study ALL of scripture. We have believed the lie that only men, those who have degrees from bible colleges and seminaries, with certain titles, should preach. Believe it or not, I was told that I cannot write on my identity in Christ because those books are normally written my men. Maybe… that is the problem. Women should be writing books about how Gods Character shapes our identity. We cannot know ourselves apart from knowing Him (REALLY knowing him. Not just conjuring up what we think He is like.) This means reading the bible for ourselves and not always looking to Beth Moore for the answers (Thankful for her ministry!). I would argue that we are all called to stand in the pulpit of our hearts and preach the Gospel to ourselves daily, because we forget the goodness and grace of God, daily.
A high view of Scripture . . . results in submitting to it as the ultimate authority in our lives. One cannot have a high view of Scripture without loving those who are different than us. Basically, what I am saying, is that our “cafeteria table” should include people of different color, political and socioeconomic backgrounds…etc.
Yes, leaders will let us down but disappointment should point us to the one who will never disappoint, the only one who is worthy of our confidence…Jesus Christ. He did it all perfectly. He loved others perfectly by speaking truth in love. Then, he died for us…the ones who failed to love God with all of our hearts, souls and minds. Now… He lives so that we can know God and daily place our hope in Him (The one who conquered the power of death and the grave).
We have to KNOW truth. He is truth. He is our confidence.
Father, help us to be women who know your word better than anything in this world. Let your words be our counselors and wisdom. Help us to know the holy scriptures more than we know our current Netflix series or latest blogs. Change our hearts. Also, teach us how love each other through disagreements and differences. Let us be women who speak truth and love.