Faith Uncategorized

I Lust After Women {The Girl Crush That Kills}


I have lusted after women for years!!!!

Without a doubt, I am a creeper. While at the mall, I can sit with my coffee and watch people all. Day. Long.  The best place to pursue a degree in anthropology is at our local bluegrass festival (ROMP).  Here, there are people with glow-in-the-dark hula hoops, bare feet, flowers in hair, no showers or razors, and as my son observed, there are “lots of belly buttons.” Too fun!

One thing that I have observed in my years of being a stalker is that women are constantly sizing each other up.

If a man looks at random women the same way we gawk at one other, we call him a pig.  When a woman walks into the room, she is being evaluated from head to toe – by other women.  In this examination process, we are seeking to determine if she poses a threat.   If it looks like she has been eating lettuce for every meal, we might decide to put down our cheeseburger (insert the sound of a blender pulverizing everything that is green in my fridge).

Yeah, so we lust…we want what she has….we want to be her.

You know . . . you see her across the aisle at Target and she is breathtakingly BEAUTIFUL!  Her outfit matches, and by the looks of her hair, she has obviously SHOWERED and she just looks like a Pinterest dream, sipping that 750 calorie Mocha Latte.  You pause for a moment and think to yourself: how does she pull of those skinny jeans?  Her children are with her and of course they are like angelic ducks in a row, and you hear them in disbelief as they say, “Yes mam!” and “No, thank you!”

Yes, as women we are way more likely to lust after each other than Magic Mike.
However, we are lusting after an illusion because there is no such thing as a perfect life.

The Grass Is Always Greener, Right?

Trust me, looking at your neighbor’s lawn – especially if they like to manicure it – could leave you feeling like your lawn looks like something out of Narnia (almost like it is not even grass, but predominately cursed weeds).    My little girl tells me she has dreams where she is running through, “smooth grass, not like ours.”  Then I see the neighborhood kids enjoying the lush carpet texture of our neighbor’s yard while our yard feels like a ghost town with that ball of hay blowing by. 

I am confident!!! UNTIL I see someone who looks better, sings better, funnier . . . then my insecurity comes out.
Comparison will hurt our joy and kill our relationships!

Comparison will always lead to competition.

Our relationships with those around us evolve into a Darwinism-Hunger Game-type mentality. It’s the survival of the fittest. Lets hope the “odds are in your favor!” In order to avoid extinction, we work very hard at surrounding ourselves with people who not only recognize that we are the greater species, but people who have some skills to bring to the table as well!  Ok!  The girl with the side braid and nunchuck skills will be on my team!!!

Like a proud peacock we strut around, hoping the other birds at the zoo are taking notes.  “See this?  Yeah that’s right!  Top that!  Look what I can do! Check out my wing span!”  All along, the other birds are thankful they don’t have to balance such ridiculous-looking junk in their trunk.  Our years are spent manipulating and managing our entourage in a way that makes our crown a little more sparkly.

What benefit can I gain from being friends with them?

Those who reside in positions of power or influence are pursued, and we reject those with excess baggage.  Do we give out compliments similar to a candidate running for office, hoping to win their vote?

Are we surrounded by an train of awesome people just like us: same political views, socioeconomic status, color, religious views, etc.? If that is the case, we may not enjoy heaven very much.

With this mentality, we relentlessly size people up and categorize them as allies or enemies. Can they help us gain position or praise?
If someone appears to be a contender for the crown, we get our feathers all ruffled.

Our relationships enter the boxing ring and we have the eye of the tiger and they are going to hear me ROAR!!!
Even when I am excited about His kingdom, I start to pick up the bricks and mortar to build my own.

Twisted up in delusions of grandeur, I think the show is all about me.  Sometimes I even go so far as to think without me, there is no show.
When my husband and I came to Pleasant Valley Community Church almost 10 years ago, there wasn’t a worship leader. So of course, as the pastor’s wife, I was expected to have musical abilities and lead things. I did not have any piano skills, but I did know how to play a little guitar because I used to try and impress the band guys.  So, next thing you know, I was leading worship.

A year later, the church wanted to a full-time person who could do youth ministry as well as lead worship. This was awesome because playing the guitar made me get really nervous (sweaty palms made it very hard to play the guitar, and besides, I had killer harmony).
Then I found at he had a wife who could sing!  Right . . . I thought, “she’s probably like an American Idol contestant who thought she could sing because at the last family reunion her Aunt Flossy told her she was amazing.”  I knew she would be awful.
Then I heard her sing: she was awesome! God, WHY!!!! I don’t want to share . . . this IS MY THING!!! (She could at least be awful looking!)
I put on my boxing gloves and I was ready to show her who rocked. When I got done singing, I dropped the MIC, what now! Beat that!


She is now one of my dearest and closest friends (We go to Taylor Swift concerts together), but God had to show me the dark shadows of jealousy that existed in my heart.
When we compare our “jam” to everyone else’s , they  become a rock star and we are just playing an air guitar.


Here is some truth to build your life on….You don’t have to rock!!!
We can give thanks for other women sharing their story – sharing His story. I can encourage other writers’/singers’ work because I am cheering on His Kingdom, not my own.

How are we doing at this? Are we afraid to champion other women because somehow it signifies that our work for the Lord is not as significant? When is the last time you encouraged someone?
Another person’s success doesn’t mean your failure.
Strong women build each other up.
The whole world seems to be fighting for attention and Christ says, “Rest here.” Strivings cease at the cross.

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