If you are wondering, “Hey, what in the world happened to Annie Leigh?!? It’s like she vanished off of the face of the earth!” You are not alone. You are included with an elite group of my dearest friends who often ask the exact same questions (especially during group texting).
Last month while traveling home from a speaking engagement with my travel companion, Karen, our flight was delayed several hours due to inclement weather. So, we did what anyone would have done under the circumstances and purchased a smorgasbord of junk food and gossip magazines. As the sugar started to take over, we became like two giddy schoolgirls. It was during this memorable stint at the Charlotte airport that Karen shared with me what she really thought about me – that she viewed me as a “cute little Meerkat.”
In her words, “You are like a cute little Meerkat at the zoo that peeks its head up to inspect the premises and then proceeds to play with everybody. Everyone loves to see the Meerkats because they are just so cute and fun, but just as the fun is getting started, all of a sudden the little varmint sneaks off into one of their tunnels never to be seen again.”
This description was entirely accurate to the point that I had no choice but to laugh – until I cried.
As a blogger, you may also think I resemble the mysterious Meerkat; you never know when you may have a post pop up in your inbox and then . . . silence.
For example….What happened to Advent Day 12-25??? The tunnel, that is what happened.
Please let me explain where I have been and why I almost quit blogging.
I didn’t want to be a blogger because blogging was stupid (or so I thought). I remember telling my little sister there was no way I would ever start a blog because people who blog think everyone wants to know their opinions. Who asked for their opinions anyways? Blogging was for people who want to feel important.
Why did I start blogging?
Well, I realized that blogging isn’t for people who are important; it is for anyone who has a story to tell. This is all of us! God has given me a story that must be told. He rescued me from the dark and brought me into the light. This is a story worth sharing. You have a story to share as well. Whether or not you choose to share it through blogging or over a cup of coffee with a stranger, I pray you will share HIS story often.
Actually, our calling demands it.
Peter tells us, “But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His wonderful light” (I Pet 2:9).
Now, don’t get me wrong, tunnels are great….for resting and thinking (Introverts…we do some of our best thinking in “tunnels.”)
But we were made to come out and play!!!
When we show up to life, instead of hiding from it, we show off our great God to a watching world!
As a stay-at-home mom of three young children, sharing my story is a way to connect with the world from which I often feel isolated (in addition to binging on Parenthood episodes). Also, writing became a means of remembering HIS grace in my life, and this filled me with JOY. Writing is an attempt to sing His praises. In pouring out words of thankfulness, I am filled.
Blogging for me is a love-hate relationship. I love writing, but blogging brings out some of my deepest insecurities and fears.
Mainly, questions. Did anyone benefit from that post I poured my heart into? Am I wasting my time? Will there be seeds planted? Do people think I am precocious? And often, silence.
Then there are the posts that go viral, which is thrilling because something you said resonated within the hearts of others. So, the next week you want to do it again, but there’s only . . . silence. What did I do wrong?
It is common to measure our worth by numbers. We become only as valuable as our “likes,” shares, and applause. However, it is in the silence that we find out what our true character is. Are we content with the hush from others when we know our God is singing over us? Even when we are working to build His kingdom, we’re so tempted to pick up a hammer and start building our own. This doesn’t mean we give up. It just means we need to look at the blueprint again and maybe sit down and drink some living water.
I told my husband I was going to quit because my house is a mess, there are other things to do with my time, there are better writers, and don’t even get me started on the socks. Ultimately, I was going to quit blogging last month because I doubted that my story mattered.
I realize God’s kingdom is advancing with or without this blog, but at the same time, He graciously gives us opportunities to play a very small role in His work. He has given me a chance to be a part of your life.
Just as the Lord has given you many opportunities, you can use them for His glory, or not at all. However, we are the ones missing out on the blessing if we do not use our gifts for Him.
Show up and God will show off His MIGHT!
I want to be an encouragement to you and a reminder of a God who sings over you!
Yes, I went into my tunnel last month and was planning to never come out again. I had nothing to say.
Then I started opening my Bible and a funny thing happened – God was speaking. Though there is perceived silence all around, God is always speaking through His word.
I had been running on fumes and instead of pulling over to refill, I pushed the petal to the metal, hoping to get somewhere. Instead, I broke down.
Driving on fumes is the same as writing on fumes. It brings out anxiety, pressure, and fear. If we are not coming to God daily to refuel, we have nothing to give to those around us.
I learned I have nothing to share unless I am coming to the throne of God every day. When I am not pressing into His word, I literally have no words to give.
The Meerkat has returned, and I wanted to let you know what you can expect from me in the years to come. I am going to quit blogging (at least the way I was blogging before).
1.) I will not write a blog if I have not had time in the Word. Trust me, you don’t want to read a blog when I have not been meeting with Jesus. I want to give you something authentic and real – something that will give life and that can only come from His words, not my own. It is when I sit before the Lord that I am reminded of my true identity and able to write authentically.
2.) I have no idea what day I will post or how often. I am a blogging rebel. In the world of blogging/publishing, it is strongly encouraged to write several times a week, and this is great, but not for me. I have three small children and I want them to remember me as their mother, not as a blogger. So to love my family well, I will only blog when the Lord has given me something to say. (This could be every day or twice a month…)
3.) This will be a place where everyone is welcome. Sinners, the broken, the depressed, the dysfunctional, those that fall short every day – all of the things that I am. We’re not here to talk about how awesome we are, but about how amazing Jesus is, and that our only hope is in Him.
My prayer is that it will be a place to gather and exalt the name of Jesus Christ, and Jesus Christ alone.